Brothers,
This is the week of Valentine’s Day. I am sure that stores will be swarmed with men for the next 24 hours. There will be cards, candy, flowers, and balloons purchased. According to what I have read (finder.com) 181.9 million Americans will purchase a Valentine gift in 2020. The amount that will be spent on Valentine gifts is estimated to be more than 19 Billion (yes with a “B”). The average amount spent will be 110$. I am thankful that my shopping for this day is completed. I hope yours is as well. I am not writing in opposition to gift giving. As I have reflected on this day, I have a thought I would like to share with you.
I will begin with a question.
Do you pray for your spouse?
Praying for our spouse brings together our most important relationships: our covenant with God and our spouse. It was these two covenants that we see in the Garden of Eden. It is the marriage covenant that stands as the greatest illustration of redemptive history. So how would you answer the previously asked question? Do you pray for your spouse?
Pride undermined the covenants in the Garden and it still affects our prayers for our spouses today. Scripture tells men that they will be a big influence for sanctification in our spouses’ life. What if a husband would pray that his wife would be loved by a husband that pursues holiness? The greatest answer God could provide as we pray for our spouse might be to change us, not our spouse.
Let’s look at 2 Peter 3:18.
“But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever. A-men”
Pray that your wife would grow in grace. Pray that her life is marked by repentance and the joy of Christ. Pray that she would find her confidence in the Gospel. Pray for her increasing knowledge of Jesus. Pray that Christ would impart more truth and knowledge to her as she studies the Bible daily and listens under the preaching of God’s Word. Pray that she would be strengthened as a woman of God. There are specific gifts for women. Pray that she would recognize and seek Christ in the fostering of those gifts. Women face temptations (as do men), and we should pray that she would be strengthened to overcome them. Gender roles are important and should not be overlooked. Pray that God would work in a way that she is safe and secure in Christ’s love and compassion. Pray for good health. Most of all, pray that she would have a husband who consistently leads her in holiness.
Men as we pray for our wives, we must recognize our call to be the family shepherd. As we begin to pray for our wives in this way, the biggest change will be in us. Why? Because we are stepping into the Biblical role of husband, shepherd, and man.
Our pride likes to point out the things she does “wrong”. Our pride likes to point out where she “needs to change”. Our pride helps us to dismiss the sad look in her eye when we are not leading like we should. Our pride drives wedges between us and our wives. Our pride seeks separation and distance from her because that’s easier than admitting where we fail.
I hear men say all sorts of things about their wives. Could it be that what we are seeing in our wives is the result of how well (or unwell) we are leading in our homes. I say yes!
So, what does this have to do with Valentine’s Day?
Here is an idea. As you present your gift to your wife tomorrow, give her more than a cardboard heart. I am not talking about flowers or jewelry. Give her your heart. A heart surrendered to Christ. Men, when you give your wife the gift you have purchased, stop for a moment. Get close to her, put your arm around her, and say the words that will begin to change your marriage forever… “let me pray for you”! Let her hear you pray to the Father for her. Let her hear your words as you call her name before God. Lead her to the throne of grace and as a couple joined in covenant with God. Pray for her!
The flowers you purchased will die. The balloons will deflate. The candy will disappear and require extra steps on the treadmill. That dinner will become a distant memory.
BUT, that prayer will touch heaven and the heart of your wife and the results will be transformative.
Be The Man!
Be The Man 